Food for Thought: You Can’t, Because I Won’t

Today I woke up for work with 30 minutes to get dressed, because having a cuddle buddy makes it impossible to get out of bed too early. I did my hair and makeup flawlessly, and tried to find an outfit that complemented my current mood. I quickly went for my olive fitted jumped and through on a cardigan over it. When boyfriend walked into the bathroom, he immediately said “you can’t wear that to work.” (cue car braking sound)

Why couldn’t I? I was completely covered up and went the extra step to through on a long cardigan over it. Boyfriend said it was because he could see my nether regions, which he couldn’t. And with the “Teach Bae” story that went viral a couple of weeks back, I started to think, where did this originate? The BF said it was other women making these rules and I agree, but not fully. I can totally see back in the 1700s-1950s when the majority of women were kept women, a man not allowing his wife to wear something he deemed provocative. In turn, that women would see a single women who dressed the way she wish she could, but instead of saying, “hey that’s a great outfit. I wish I was subject to my husband’s demands,” she probably said “you look like a whore.” Why? Because that’s how her husband made her feel.

I let boyfriend know I was tired of conforming to something I didn’t want to be, and told him I would wear my vagina proud. Ten minutes later, I’m in my car trying to hide my crotch area. My co-worker weighed in on the subject and said she didn’t think it was appropriate as well. Once we got deeper into the conversation, she said she’d love to dress the same, but would feel self-conscious. And thus here is a part of the problem. If a woman doesn’t feel comfortable enough to wear something, she might shame someone who does. And most likely not intentionally.

But is it the clothes that are inappropriate or thoughts that arise from the audience we call society that’s at fault? Take for instance this example: if tomorrow every woman burned their bras, in 20 years, would be braless be an issue anymore? I don’t believe little boys would look at nibbles and sexualize them anymore or men be able to use it as a lame ass excuse for rape, because it wouldn’t be taboo. We create our own taboos by saying these are inappropriate. When instead we could stop talking down on others, because of what they wear and just let them live, and in turn, you’d get to do the same.


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